🏎️ Max is BACK from Italy and Doesn't Write about an Italian Car?

Goooood MORNING,

AND HAPPY MONDAY!

WE ARE BACK from the honeymoon hiatus, and boy oh boy I am filled with piss, vinegar, and ENERGY (actually mostly wine & pasta) to be here delivering automotive gems to your inboxes.

You’re welcome in advance.

During my time galivanting through Italy, in between sipping exquisite cappuccinos, devouring delicious meals, and alllllmost being convinced to purchase a $500 leather jacket that I would literally never have the opportunity to wear here in hot/humid Charlotte…

I did a whole lot of car spotting. I felt like I was on an automotive safari.

As a result of that safari, I kept seeing one car again and again. It’s one you rarely see in the US, has a hall of fame racing heritage, and…

has WAY less than 100 horsepower?

Here it is: A 1991 MINI 1300 Cooper

• 🌏️ Driven around the world: ???

  • I think this is the first ever car I’ve seen for sale that doesn’t list mileage very explicitly 👀 

• 🎥 Video to get the vibes right: The Italian Job chase scene

• 🏇 Can beat 62 horses in a tug of war

• 💰️ Predicted Price: $44,000 (including your import fees n such)

• 📆 Auction Ends: Never!

  • Tbh I prefer writing about cars on auction, but I wanted to write about this one so bad I made an exception. DEAL WITH IT.

I get it, you’re all pissed that I’m not talking about some wide, loud, powerful, and RED Italian supercar after getting back from my trip.

But hear me out!

What Makes a Classic Mini Cooper so Damn Cool?

• It is one of the only TRUE All-Terrain Vehicles out there

• It DOMINATED racing for many years

• And it is cute as a button (just like you, dear reader)

WTF Do You Mean its an All-Terrain Vehicle?

GREAT question.

Let’s first list the most important terrain you want your car to be able to traverse. In no particular order:

• Tight/Narrow Roads

• Parking Garages

• Sidewalks & Staircases

• Snow, Ice, & Mud

All completely reasonable places you want your car to be able to go.

It’s definitely not a list of things designed specifically to fit my biased argument. I would never do that.

Anyways

The original Mini Cooper was only 10ft long, 4ft 8in wide, and 4ft 7in tall.

Compared to a modern ‘aLl-TeRrAiN-vEhIcLe’ like the Ford Raptor, which is literally twice as long, 7ft 3in wide, and 6ft 7in tall… the Mini is a bit smaller.

That means on roads like the cliffside, hairpin happy, Amalfi Drive, the Mini is far more usable.

And if you’re not convinced, watch this video to get a good idea how painful it can be to drive a larger vehicle on this road.

Cities in Europe have existed far longer than they have in the US (you’re welcome -Captain Obvious), so many roads there are just paved (or cobblestone) old walking paths. They were often not created with cars in mind, because no one had actually invented the glory of internal combustion yet. So… tight roads are the reality for much of Europe, and its why most people prefer walking, mopeds, or compact cars rather than the bulky, cushy stuff we tend to build over here.

So, Mini Cooper: 1, Ford Raptor: 0

Terrain Numero Dos was Parking Garages. Everyone needs to park in a parking garage on occasion, and they tend to be tight and short.

Again, smaller cars are going to have a MUCH easier time.

The wider your car, the more likely you are to have an experience like THIS (this Top Gear clip is amazing, pls watch).

The taller your car, the more likely you are to have the slightly different but similarly harrowing experience of this…

I’ll let you all guess which of these I have gone through personally…

REGARDLESS, the Mini is mini, so Mini Cooper: 2, Ford Raptor: 0

Next up, sidewalks and stairs. All you need to do to understand this one is watch the chase scene from the Italian Job (here).

From what I saw in Italy, the only unrealistic thing about this scene are the Italians jumping out of the way for oncoming traffic. Those folks don’t move out of the way for ANYTHING, and they’ll yell at you for ever assuming they would.

There are no Ford Raptors in the Italian Job, so there’s no way for us to know how they would handle driving down stairs or on sidewalks. Thus…

Mini Cooper: 3, Ford Raptor: 0

Lastly, Snow, Ice, & Mud. Surely the off-road specialist Raptor will get a W here, and avoid the sweep?

Before we find out, let’s first cover the Mini’s racing heritage, just to make sure we are getting the full picture…

The Mini Cooper DOMINATED Racing?

It did! In fact, it specifically dominated RALLY racing (so, multi-terrain time-trial based racing).

The Mini Cooper won the prestigious Monte-Carlo Rally in 1964, 1965, 1966 (kind of), AND 1967, making it one of the winningest cars in the events history.

But how could a car with less than 100 horsepower, skinny tires, and a 0-60 time of nearly 10s second win an event against rally greats like Ford, Lancia, & BMW, and in consecutive years no less?

Again, it all comes back to the Mini’s size.

The Mini’s small stature meant it was agile, so it could carry far more speed than its competitors in the corners.

It also meant the Mini was light. Only around 1200 pounds. The Mountain could deadlift the damn thing. 

1200 pounds is VERY light for a car. It was so light that, when the Mini had to traverse snow, mud, or ice during the race, the Mini would just glide right over top of it rather than getting bogged down and stuck. 

Its competitors (who were often nearly twice as heavy) had a much harder time cornering quickly, stopping their lumbering cars during braking zones, or keeping them going when rough terrain was encountered.

ON TOP OF ALL THAT modern Mini Coopers have won the Dakar Rally SIX TIMES, which trails only Mitsubishi with its GOAT Pajero (one of which we discussed in newsletter one), and Peugeot for most Dakar wins by a manufacturer.

So, all this to say…

This Mini Cooper has a proven rally racing heritage. It has won many races crossing some of the most harsh terrain in the world up against other automotive greats.

I don’t mean to put the Ford Raptor on blast but…

I have no choice but to say Mini Cooper: 4, Ford Raptor: 0

David defeats Goliath.

Lastly, most importantly…

The Mini Cooper is Cute as a Button

This one is self explanatory. Minis are probably the cutest cars on the road.

Not to mention this one has a classy af burled wood interior:

So, not only is it cute,

not only can it drive anywhere more quickly than any car of its era,

but it has an interior that is (imo) BEAUTIFUL.

It is looks & performance, wrapped up in a fun package.

That’s why I think Italians love it so much,

and why you should buy the damn thing.

That's a wrap for today. For now, so I can leave time to focus on marketing and growing the newsletter, editions will come out Monday & Friday! While you wait, go out and drive! And if you want more, be sure to follow Max’s Twitter (@maxjzin)

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