🏎️ Max Buys You All Beer?

GOOOOOD MORNING. It’s the Friday before Independence Day, bitches.

And because I know you’re all very charismatic and popular people (only charismatic and popular folks read MaxFindsCars), I suspect you’ll all be partying your respective asses off with a bunch of your good looking and popular friends (MaxFindsCars readers only associate with other good looking and popular people, of course).

If you are celebrating the holiday with a group of friends, I have a proposition for you: for every friend you convince to sign up to MaxFindsCars, I’ll buy you a beer.

Two Requirements on your end… They have to either already like cars, or be a generally open-minded person (so I can convince them to like cars).

I’m gonna choose the beers, because otherwise I know you clever devils are going to send me receipts for a Triple Hazy Truffle Gilded IPA that costs $17 and is 30% alcohol.

Your options are PBR or Genesee Cream; the two most American of beers.

PBR and Genny Cream are trading on the open market at around $21 for a 30 pack, so the deal is: 30 friends, $21 bucks from me in your Venmo. If you do 15 friends, its $10.50, so on and so forth.

Deal?

🤝 

Anyways, let’s talk cars, shall we?

When today’s whip rolls up, Gucci store clerks salute at attention, Jeeps quake in their boots, and the Kardashian’s break out the checkbook…

HERE IT IS: A 2017 Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG

What Makes The G63 AMG So Cool?

• The Storied Origins of the G-Wagen in the USA

• It’s a 50 Year Old Car Shoe-Horned with All the Luxuries

• It’s A Legit Off-Roader, Even If It’s Never Asked to Be

Today’s Edition is brought to you by eBay Motors

But First, the Highlights…

• 🌏️ Driven around the world: 1.55x

• 🎥 Video to Get the Vibes Right: The G-Wagen Wave

• 🏇 Can beat 563(!!!) horses in a fight

• 💰️ Predicted Price: $125,365

• 📆 Auction Ends: Wednesday, July 5th, 2023

The Storied Origins of the G-Wagen in the USA

The origins of the G-Wagen are a bit… strange.

I’ll try to keep things relatively simple:

In the 1970’s the KING OF IRAN, who just so happened to be a Mercedes shareholder, said “Hey uhhhh what if you guys made a rugged military SUV, like a Jeep? And what if a certain king in a certain middle eastern country wanted to throw down an order of 20,000 of them for a certain military?”

Mercedes: “Da”

AND SOOOO The Gelandewagen (long, for G-Wagen) was born.

In 1979, Mercedes first began offering the G-Wagen to the (non-American) public, and for the next 20 or so years it gained and maintained a reputation for being the most rugged, durable, and off-road capable SUV on the market.

Off-topic, but a lil fun fact for you all: The G-Wagen was and still is built in Graz, Austria, the home of a little known body-builder and governator^TM , Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Eventually because of its stellar reputation, the luxurious Mercedes brand image in the states, and rich folk doin’ rich folk things, the G-Wagen began appearing in the US via ‘Gray Market’ car import loopholes.

WTF are Gray Market cars? Well, effectively they’re cars that were imported into the US outside of a car manufacturers normal (dealership) distribution, then modified to pass US safety/emission standards, and resold with a big ass markup.

Due to the complexity, price tag, and rarity of such cars in the US only the most try-hard of enthusiast/rich people bought them… but that started to create more demand.

It showed Mercedes that there WAS, in fact, a market for the G-Wagen in the states. Their thinking that it didn’t jive with the luxurious brand image in the US could be… worked around, shall we say?

It’s a 40 Year Old Car Shoe-Horned with All the Luxuries

SO, once Mercedes saw they had an opportunity to upsell the G-Wagen to wealthy folks state-side, they had two choices:

1. Redesign the car to better accommodate modern luxuries, looks, etc…

2. Shoe-horn luxuries into the existing car

They chose the latter.

THIS 2017 G-Wagen, has the SAME CHASSIS & architecture as the G-Wagen that came out in 1990 (the W463 generation).

It’s not that hard to tell, either…

The G-Wagen is covered in things we haven’t seen in cars in decades, like exposed door hinges and screws fastening the turn signals on the fenders:

And other things, like the backup camera, are just bolted on to the existing (old) rear door.

This all means the steering is awful, the gaps in body parts are huge, and the feel of this car vs another modern SUV in the same price range (like a top of the line Cayenne, for example) just emphasizes the oldness.

A lot of people think this is a bad thing, and makes the G-Wagen a bad car to buy.

I think the opposite.

This G-Wagen is basically a ‘resto-mod’ from the factory; something that is objectively awesome. It’s an old car, with new amenities. IMO, that is basically the dream.

And btw, how many cars come STOCK WITH SIDE EXIT EXHAUSTS and a twin-turbo V8???? Not many.

Anyways, it LEGIT has some real luxuries, like:

• Heated & Cooled Seats

• Quilted Leather throughout the cabin

• Carbon Fiber Trim

• Harmon Kardon sound system

• & this sick cupholder that looks like the laundry basketball hoop your parents buy you to try to get you to put away your dirty clothes:

AND this one in particular is painted in ‘Designo Sintered Bronze Magno’ - a color so boujee I don’t know what most of it even means. Actually, let me look this up:

“Sintered” means ‘coalescing a powdered material into a solid or porous mass’, so I guess that’s why the pain looks kind of like a powder-coated matte?

“Magno” means ‘big’, which I don’t really get… how can paint be big?

“Designo” is Mercedes speak for individualized/exclusive - I.E. expensive.

“Bronze” I did not have to look up, I promise.

But this G-Wagen is not just luxurious…

It’s A Legit Off-Roader, Even If It’s Never Asked to Be

The G-Wagen is seriously off-road capable. It has 3-locking differentials, more than (I believe) every other production SUV out there at the moment.

Its perhaps the most off-road capable car on the market from the factory.

But often, its critiqued for being more often used to hit up the Gucci store than a treacherous trail…

Everyone stereotypes G-Wagen drivers as rich assholes, who roam around Beverly Hills without ever making use of the off-road heritage that makes this G63 AMG special.

I think we need to ask ourselves a question though, is the G-Wagens rep for being a luxury mall-crawler really any different from every off-road capable car from the factory?

Most Jeeps are covered in stickers, put up on obnoxious wheels, and draped in LED lights from Autozone before they’re ever brought on a serious off-road trail.

So, to knock the G-Wagen for its owners use of it is to ignore the reality that we really don’t off-road that much.

We like to look like we do, or feel like we can.

And I think that’s okay.

Plus, THE POPE had one, so is daily driving one of these on smooth highway roads really as sinful as everyone makes it out to be? No, if you leave out the fact that it gets like 10mpg…

So, if you have the cash: ignore the haters. Whip this factory resto-mod with GUSTO.

And if you follow through on that beer proposition from earlier, either email me ([email protected]) or just have your friends use your referral link (below).

And remember…

MaxFindsCars.com is not, technically, free! By subscribing, dear reader, you have agreed to tell your friends about it.

In fact, I believe the contract specifically stated you had to each subscribe 100 of your closest friends, colleagues, enemies, exes, priests, pets, & sugar mommas. I’ll have to check the fine print to be sure, but you all may as well get started spreading the word in the meantime.

That's a wrap for today. New Editions come out every Monday & Friday! While you wait, go out and drive! And if you want more, be sure to follow Max’s Twitter (@maxjzin)

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