🏎 Max Finds The Car Version of a Mullet

Gm & HAPPY FRIDAY.

Usually at this part of the email, I have to give a spiel and strong-arm you into sticking around because a seemingly boring car is more interesting than it appears…

I will not have to do that for today’s car, dear readers.

Let me cut to the chase…

CHECK

THIS

OUT

A 1981 Cadillac Fleetwood (with… some modifications)

• 🌏️ Driven around the world: ???

  • It shows 24k on the odometer, but there are so many asterisks on the title for this car there’s legitimately no way to know.

• 🎼 Song to Get the Vibes Right: White Trash Millionaire

• 🏇 Can beat probably all of the horses in a fight

• 💰️ Predicted Price: $1,000,000 (give or take $965,000)

• 📆 Auction Ends: TODAY (Friday, May 18th, 2023)

Okay… SO!

MaxFindsCars is usually a place where I stand on my soap box and tell you why every car is interesting & cool - maybe its the engineering, maybe its the heritage, or maybe its the story of that individual car.

Sometimes I choose cars that are outwardly boring af - everyone knows italian supercars are special, but not everyone knows the Saab 9-5 Turbo your political science professor drives is.

However…

When this car slid across my desk I was STUNNED

How could we not talk about this thing?

So…

What Makes The Fleetwood Stretch Limo So Cool?

• It is “THE UNDISPUTED MULLET OF AUTOMOBILES”

  • quote via the concisely named @mmmahhmatt in the BringATrailer comments

• It’s PROBABLY the fastest limo on EARTH

• It’s more like a SPACESHIP than you’d expect

  • admittedly, you’d probably expect its very UNLIKE a spaceship, so this is a low bar.

It is “THE UNDISPUTED MULLET OF AUTOMOBILES”

Mullets are back in vogue.

I have no idea why, but I’ve been seeing them everywhere.

On men, on dogs, and now this…

Which is pretty damn close to a mullet on wheels. The only thing about that description that doesn’t work is that a mullet is “business in the front, party in the back”

whereas this Caddy is a party ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

I think a more apt description is…

If Snoop Dogg and Evel Knievel had a car company, THIS dragstrip-ready Fleetwood is what they would build.

It’s PROBABLY the fastest limo on EARTH

Okay, this took some hardcore investigative journalism, dear readers.

And, yes, by that I mean two (2) google searches.

BUT, I have it on good authority (a weird and ancient looking website) that the world record holding fastest limo in the world is a Ferrari 360 Modena built by some dude in Manchester (pretty sure the England one & not New Hampshire).

Here it is:

I found no evidence that the engine was modified to make more power, so we can only assume that this Ferrari limo puts out a MEASLY 400 horsepower while being 9ft longer than normal.

Now… while our Cadillac’s auction post mentions nothing with respect to engine power.

What we know is that its a supercharged, 484 cubic inch V8.

From Google Search numero two I have determined that it is entirely possible for this exact engine to make nearly 900 horsepower (while using nitrous).

Because I was unfortunately limited to only those two google searches, we can only assume that this Cadillac does, in fact, make OVER TWICE THE POWER as that peasant Ferrari.

Not only that, but check out the THICCCCC rubber on the back of the Fleetwood:

Our boy is MADE to live life a quarter mile at a time, like Dom intended.

Safe to say if you buy this car you have a great shot at getting yourself a world record.

You’ll go down in history, friend.

It’s more like a SPACESHIP than you’d expect

And no, its not just like a spaceship because its fast!

First (and I’m saving the best for last, so keep reading CHUMP), it does not have a fuel tank.

Nope!

This thing has a fuel cell (like the damn space shuttle)

I have NO IDEA what the difference is between a fuel cell and a fuel tank BUT my working theory is that there is a certain acceleration threshold the car must have, maybe its quarter mile time, that allows it to define your fuel container as a ‘cell’

This Fleetwood has crossed that threshold, as do spaceships.

Second… look at these sick ass switches you have to flip to turn it on:

Third, and most importantly:

There’s a button called “WARP MODE”.

I asked the seller about it, here’s what they said:

Now, this is the type of mystery that gets me going. Missing person AND an unknown button that gives big “Ludicrous Speed” from Space Balls vibes…

I’m going to need you, dear reader, to buy this thing and tell me what that button does STAT.

And remember…

MaxFindsCars.com is not, technically, free! By subscribing, dear reader, you have agreed to tell your friends about it.

In fact, I believe the contract specifically stated you had to each subscribe 100 of your closest friends, colleagues, enemies, exes, priests, pets, & sugar mommas. I’ll have to check the fine print to be sure, but you all may as well get started spreading the word in the meantime.

That's a wrap for today. New Editions come out every Monday and Friday! While you wait, go out and drive! And if you want more, be sure to follow Max’s Twitter (@maxjzin)

• 🏎️💨 Contact for advertising

• 🏷️💲 Contact to promote a car sale

I WANT REVIEWS WITH EITHER ‘AIRLINE THAT DELAYED YOUR FLIGHT’ OR ‘COFFEE SHOP WHERE YOU’RE TRYING TO HIT ON THE BARISTA’ ENERGY

LIKE THIS ONE