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- đ Max Finds a Sub-$30k Car with BILLIONAIRE DOORS
đ Max Finds a Sub-$30k Car with BILLIONAIRE DOORS
and it has doors that open like THIS, not like ~this~
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No pesticides OR artificial intelligence are used in the making of this newsletter - not that anyone would ever mistake my haphazard grammar as the product of an ultra-intelligent AI.
Speaking of pesticides and other bug killing thingsâŚ
Todayâs car, with its doors open, resembles one of the worldâs most bug-hating beings (in third place behind spiders and my wife):
The majestic bird (Fun Fact: Birds kill/eat an estimated 500 million bugs per year!)
HERE
IT
IS
đď¸ Driven around the world: 2.31x
đĽ Video to Get the Vibes Right: Billionaire Doors - Silicon Valley
đ Can beat 63 horses in a fight
đ°ď¸ Predicted Price: $24,657
đ Auction Ends: Wednesday, June 7th, 2023
Gettinâ ready to FLY AWAY.
peep that sick AUTOZAM branded diffuser.
Another car with strange stains around the ass area, feel like those cushions need a little rinse.
Todayâs Edition is brought to you by Based Supplements
What Makes The Autozam AZ-1 So Cool?
It has BILLIONAIRE DOORS on a budget!
It has the engine in the middle, like a Lambo!
Itâll help you lose weight??
It has BILLIONAIRE DOORS on a budget!
Below is REQUIRED VIEWING, especially if you have not watched the glorious show that is Silicon Valley (viewable on HBO⌠wait, now its MAX. Forgot they started infringing on my IP).
So, as per the great Russ Hanneman, the Autozam (which is a kei car btw) has BILLIONAIRE DOORS.
Also known as Gullwing Doors.
And I would bet another oil leak in my car that this is the cheapest car in the world that has gullwing doors from the factory.
Okay yeah I just looked down the list and its literally a BARGAIN.
How much of a bargain?
Well⌠on the short list of cars with gullwing doors is the one that holds the record for most expensive car sold at auction in the world:
The Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR, which sold for an OBSCENE $142,000,000.
But what are gullwing doors? Outside of looking cool as hell, do they provide any practical value?
Basically, the gullwing door is a door hinged at the roof, rather than the front side of the door. Thus, they open upwards.
Outside of looking sick, as we said, theyâre actually quite practical in urban environments.
The Tesla Model X is the most recent modern example of them, and though many people see them as obnoxious, one of the big value-adds is that you can park in a tight space without having to worry about your kids banging the door into the car next to you.
Now, in this case, given how small the Autozam isâŚ
I doubt youâd ever be in a situation where the gullwing doors actually provided the aforementioned benefits.
So⌠in this case, yeah, the main draw is the cool factor.
To make it even more cool what you SHOULD do, when you buy this car, is modify your Autozam so that it makes an eagle screeching sound effect whenever the doors go up.
It has the engine in the middle, like a Lambo!
Therein lies all 63 galloping horses of this tiny teeny inline-3 turbo engine
Frankly, I always get annoyed when someone says a car is mid-engine and then they open up the trunk and the engine is inside.
To me, trunk = back/rear/not the damn middle.
So even though the engine is 85% of the way to the back of the car, its not ârear engineâ because the rear axle is at the very very back of the car.
Anyways, NOT ONLY does the Autozam have billionaire/gullwing doors like the most expensive car ever, it has the same engine mounting position as a Lamborghini Aventador.
This lil guy shares more similarities with the toys of billionaires than most luxury cars on the road today. INSANE.
And speaking of the engine, at 660cc this AZ-1âs engine is smaller than many motorcycles on the road today. And thus, many many motorcycles make more horsepower than it too!
A significant percentage of me wants to buy this and put a Hayabusa engine (for the uninformed, a Suzuki Hayabusa is a very powerful motorcycle that makes 188hp) in it.
Maybe Iâll get famous and end up on Hoonigan if I do.
Itâll help you lose weight??
Okay check this outâŚ
THIS (below) is the only part of the window you can actually roll down:
So, let me paint you a pictureâŚ
Youâre hungry, youâre craving some of those good good McDonalds chicken nuggets and a large vanilla milkshake (the GOAT road-trip meal outside of coffee with a side of coffee).
You are driving your Autozam, whichâŚ
âŚyou drive on the right-hand side.
THUS, you enter the drive thru in reverse (so as to make and accept your order on the side of the car you are on).
You order your meal and get to the pickup window.
You roll down your windowâŚ
And realize in terror that it literally cannot fit a large shake through it. The window is too small.
Yes, I calculated thisâŚ
The AZ-1 is about 3.77 feet tall. The window slot is around 6 inches.
A large McDonalds cup is SIX POINT THREE (6.3) inches (according to this math problem on Chegg so, yeah, definitely a reliable source𤣠), SOâŚ
Large cups in your smol car are not an option. UNLESSâŚ
Assuming you donât do that, however, your car literally prevents you from getting the large shake! You can probably get a medium stillâŚ
But going from large to medium will surely help lose some extra poundage around the belt.
SO!
Do you want a car thatâll help you get a six pack?
Do you want a car thatâll make you look like a billionaire (just smaller)?
Do you want a car thatâll be the most terrifying thing on the road if you gave it the same amount of engine power as a standard Toyota Corolla?
This Autozam is the ride for you!
And rememberâŚ
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That's a wrap for today. New Editions come out every Monday and Friday! While you wait, go out and drive! And if you want more, be sure to follow Maxâs Twitter (@maxjzin)