🏎️ Max Found the Weirdest Car on Facebook - 1990 Nissan Axxess

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Good MORNING dear readers.

Happy NFL season (for those that observe).

This morning we have something a bit unique. Something submitted by a dear reader of this here ol’ newsletter.

Something you may never see again…

HERE IT IS: A 1990 Nissan Axxess Art Car (our first ever Facebook car, whoa!)

What Makes The ‘90 Nissan Axxess So Cool?

• It is an ‘Art Car’???

• It’s also a BMW, and a Volvo, and a Jeep???

• It has a bit of a ‘Cult Following’

Today’s Edition is brought to you by Morning Brew

But First, the Highlights…

There isn’t anything particularly special about the Axxess that underlies this magical exterior. It was only imported to the states in 1990, and was kind of a pseudo-minivan in the era of Chrysler Minivan dominance.

Supposedly, they are pretty fun to drive, reasonably reliable, and are DEFINITELY rare. I have never seen one in person. I’m not sure if I would have noticed if I had.

• 🌏️ Driven around the world: 4.64x

• 🎼 Song to Get the Vibes Right: Shiny Happy People - REM

• 🏇 Can beat 138 horses in a fight

• 💰️ Predicted Price: $3000

It is an ‘Art Car’???

SO, the most obvious feature of this car is that it is absolutely DECKED OUT with a mosaic of what appears to be a menagerie of materials - tiles, marbles, gems, there may even be some googly eyes in there.

If you remember the bedazzled limo a reader found a few months back, you’ll notice that today’s Nissan is quite a bit more intricate in patterns/detail. Where the Limo dazzled with quantity, the Nissan B-Dazles with quality. Apparently it has taken over 6 years for the owner to get this Art Car to the state that it is in today.

Over that time though, it looks like age, weather, etc… has started to wear away at our decorations a bit. There are gaps in the pattern in a few places, and in general it seems like the beads are falling away on the rear bumper…

Which leads me to a question:

Let’s say you get into a fender bender in this thing. Someone hits you, and your beads/bedazzles/gems/adornments go everywhere.

They riddle the street, causing a veritable oil slick for anyone unlucky enough to wade through them.

Another car tries to stop on the marbles but they cannot. They crash too.

Your art car has caused a pileup. Are you legally responsible?

Any lawyer readers know the answer here?

It’s also a BMW, and a Volvo, and a Jeep???

Again, this is a Nissan. It does not have a Nissan badge. In fact, it seems like it has everything except a Nissan badge on this trunk. Initially I only noticed the BMW one, but the more I zoom the more of these I see.

I think I’ve counted 25 badges, including a Mercedes, Volvo, Jeep Cherokee, Chevy, Mustang, and a bunch more that I don’t fully recognize.

Do we have a kleptomaniac badge thief on our hands here? Where is this person getting all of these things?

Is this whole car a monument to their heisting prowess?

It has a bit of a ‘Cult Following’

Yes, this is a Nissan Axxess (another one, sadly not the one for sale today) with a toilet (FUNCTIONAL I MIGHT ADD) in the back.

I have seen a few ‘toilet mods’ on cars in the past.

Mostly notably, the ‘Trailer Hitch Shitter’:

BUTT, the toilet in the back of the above Axxess is the most involved toilet mod I have seen. It implies a certain amount of dedication (and crippling IBS) that could only come to fruition on a car that people really love.

Why buy a camper when you can install a toilet in your Axxess?

Why buy a car with a boring, normy paint job when you can buy this one, that comes encrusted in gemstones?

By the way, Matt Farah did a great video on the Axxess with the toilet. You can watch it here!

And remember…

MaxFindsCars.com is not, technically, free! By subscribing, dear reader, you have agreed to tell your friends about it.

In fact, I believe the contract specifically stated you had to each subscribe 100 of your closest friends, colleagues, enemies, exes, priests, pets, & sugar mommas. I’ll have to check the fine print to be sure, but you all may as well get started spreading the word in the meantime.

IF YOU’RE FUNNY, MEAN, OR NICE ENOUGH, YOUR REVIEW MIGHT GET FEATURED IN A FUTURE NEWSLETTER…

That's a wrap for today. New Editions come out every Monday & Friday! While you wait, go out and drive! And if you want more, be sure to follow Max’s Twitter (@maxjzin)

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