🏎️ Max Finds A Car That Will Make You Immortal

GOOD MORNING.

Happy Friday.

I’m not going to dawdle around with intro hubbub, today’s car is too wild for me to make you all wait.

But you might be surprised to know that we’ve covered this exact make and model before…

Rest assured this one is still unique.

HERE IT IS: A 1996 Toyota Century… HEARSE?

What Makes The Century Hearse So Cool?

• The black paint

• It has door handles

• It has two seats in the front

I’M KIDDING.

• It’s COVERED IN GOLD DRAGONS

• It has a PA SYSTEM

• It would make a GREAT RV conversion

Today’s Edition is brought to you by eBay Motors

But First, the Highlights…

• 🌏️ Driven around the world: 1.3x

• 🎼 Song to Get the Vibes Right: Dust in the Wind - Kansas

  • Or, more specifically, Will Ferrell’s funeral rendition. Voice of an angel on that guy.

• 🏇 Can beat 190 horses in a fight

• 💰️ Predicted Price: $19,666

• 📆 Auction Ends: Tuesday, July 11th, 2023

To all of my loved ones, if I’m not carried to my funeral in this car, you’re written out of the Will. To paraphrase the great philosopher, 2 Chainz, who once said ‘If I die, bury me inside a Louis store’ - I ask simply: ‘If I die, carry me inside this Phoenix car’.

Like I said, we’ve already written about a Toyota Century. All the way back in March, in fact. If you want a refresher you can read it here. But the highlights are that the Toyota Century (in general) was:

• The Pinnacle of Japanese Luxury - it’s like their Rolls Royce

• Commissioned and Incepted by Japan’s Emperor

• Is Badged with a Phoenix…

The Phoenix is a mythological bird that is IMMORTAL. When it dies, it rises again from those ashes cyclically & eternally.

Pretty fitting to turn one into a hearse.

But let’s get to the main event…

It’s COVERED IN GOLD DRAGONS

You may be asking yourself: “uhh, why?”

Fair!

Other than looking cool af, and being incredibly intricate for the sake of opulence, there’s actually precedence within Japanese culture for this thing.

This hearse is referred to in the auction as ‘Miyagata’-style. Miyagata translates, literally (I think) to “a shrine shape”.

Upon some quick investigative journalism, I can confirm that this hearse very much has a shrine shape.

But there are levels to Japanese hearses. Not all Miyagata-style hearses are this ornate, and not all Japanese hearses are shrine-like in the first place. In fact, more traditional/conservative hearses are becoming more and more popular there.

This particular hearse is near the top level on the ornateness scale, especially given its built on a Toyota Century (the Japanese Rolls Royce).

What that means is that this hearse is probably from Nagoya, a city southwest of Tokyo, as that is where these particularly boujee hearses are most popular (at least, according to this Hagerty article).

As luxurious and impressive as the outside of the car is, though, I think it is important to note that (unfortunately) it is NOT solid gold. I had hoped it was, so I could melt it down to buy car parts, but the seller says the dragons are made of a light wood.

But don’t let that deter you, this Century has even MORE surprises…

It has a PA SYSTEM

And some other wild features…

Okay the seller does note that the PA System is disconnected, but I imagine that’s only because the previous owner realized this car doesn’t really need sound to get people’s attention. I suspect, PA or no, people tend to stop, stare, and get out of the way when this thing is rolling by.

It also has a reverse camera system, which is great because I doubt the person in the back would be much help when you’re trying to back into a spot at CostCo.

Another great feature: it has a shingled roof! Admittedly, you’ll want to have someone inspect that. God knows what a roofing company would charge to repair this thing. What are gold roofing tiles going for these days?

But one thing you should check on: has the seller gotten a quote on gutter installation? You really want to make sure water is draining AWAY from your hearse. It’s just best practice.

Lastly, and unfortunately, it does not come with a full spare, and I’m sorry for how morbid this is but the idea of this car getting a flat on the way to a funeral, the driver having to change the tire, then arriving to the funeral 20 minutes late with THIS CAR on a donut… too funny.

It would make a GREAT RV conversion

It ALREADY HAS reading lamps (those orb things), a comfy red carpet, hangers for your clothes, and character (something most RV’s simply do not have).

All it really needs to get the job done:

1. Throw a mattress in here, but bonus points if you install a mini grill on those tracks that you can pull out when you’re at camp. It’s basically a Rivian at that point!

2. Hook that PA system back up so you can play tunes for you and all your friends while camping.

3. Add a lock to the hearse door… there doesn’t appear to be one. You’ll want one to keep the bears out. Those things are like the velociraptors in jurassic park if they smell your grilled foods inside your ‘bedroom’.

And remember…

MaxFindsCars.com is not, technically, free! By subscribing, dear reader, you have agreed to tell your friends about it.

In fact, I believe the contract specifically stated you had to each subscribe 100 of your closest friends, colleagues, enemies, exes, priests, pets, & sugar mommas. I’ll have to check the fine print to be sure, but you all may as well get started spreading the word in the meantime.

That's a wrap for today. New Editions come out every Monday & Friday! While you wait, go out and drive! And if you want more, be sure to follow Max’s Twitter (@maxjzin)

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• 🏷️💲 Contact to promote a car sale

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